Cherry Mistmas–I Mean, Merry Christmas!

Posted by Rita Lorraine

Hi Everybody,
Here’s a wonderful cookie recipe I got from my mother, who got it from one of her friends. Serve these and don’t be surprised when every single person who takes a bite starts to scream, “You’ve just GOT to give me your recipe!


Disclaimer: This recipe came into my hands as “anonymous.” I have no clue who created it; if I did, I’d credit them as creator, then drop an email to say how much I enjoyed their humor.

That being said, I make no claims on this recipe in any form or fashion…except to say I wish I had a batch of these babies within reach right now.

Without further ado, here’s the recipe:


Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila


1. Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl. Check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink.

2. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

3. Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok. Try another cup just in case.

4. Turn off the mixerer thingy.

5. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

6. Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

7. Mix on the turner.

8. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

9. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

10. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something; who geeves a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.


11. Add one table.

12. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

13. Greash the oven.

14. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

15. Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

16. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mistmas!

I hope you enjoyed this sweet bit of humor. And I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

Best wishes and happy writing!

Rita Lorraine

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